Star report 22

Karl visited Peter’s home this month to help him connect his laptop to the company intranet. The visit lasted a couple of hours during which time Karl made the necessary changes and installations while Peter let off steam,* telling him about the pressure he was under from his own manager, the uncooperative behaviour of his subordinates and the fact that he seemed to be working 24/7,* and had no time to spend with his family. He described in detail the rounds of meetings, the report writing and the travelling he had to do, while Karl clicked away and made the occasional sympathetic comment.

However, I detected that the empathy Karl displayed was not entirely genuine, and what he was really thinking was that as a manager Peter needed to be tougher, better organised and more realistic about his own capabilities. He did not say so of course, because he had the wisdom to know that most often, humans had to discover the truth for themselves, and would reject it if presented to them by someone else, however well-intentioned.

Karl has had other things than Peter’s laptop on his mind this month. One morning he and Helen were spotted by sharp-eyed Carol from the Nut Hut (the R&D block) when they arrived at work in the same car and exchanged a passionate parting kiss.

Knowing the way gossip* spreads through organisations, the two young people knew that the news of their relationship would get round the office before you could say “instant messaging,” and they realised that they had to choose between three ways to react.

To consistently deny the relationship until they were blue in the face.*
To maintain silence and allow people to reach their own conclusions
To laugh, admit the truth, and pretend not to be affected by the resulting tittering and teasing.

The fact that they chose the third alternative reveals that both Karl and Helen have a sound understanding of HN (see Key Phrases and Abbreviations) as well as a realistic idea of how to deal with public opinion and the spread of information. The further up the corporate ladder one climbs, the more useful these skills are, so it appears that the young couple are well-equipped for any future challenges they might meet in their careers.

However, at the moment it is Helen who seems destined for promotion as she has distinguished herself in the Global Finance Department for her hard work, intelligence and ambition. We know through use of our remote thought probes, that Ludwig, Karl’s young manager, also admires her and that he was not at all pleased to hear of the romance between Karl and Helen. Indeed, he tried earlier this month to win the attentions of this attractive young female for himself.

We heard later, when Helen recounted the story to Karl, that Ludwig started his campaign by inviting her to a meeting to discuss the possibility of her coming to work in his department as his assistant manager, with responsibility for finance. Helen was surprised, and asked him if the department’s budget was big enough to support a financial specialist, but Ludwig assured her that this could be arranged, as several employees were there on temporary contracts which did not have to be renewed. He added that in his opinion the whole Customer Support Department needed an overhaul and she could help him in his efforts to make changes. He added that they would make a great team – at work and outside – and they should think about putting GLOB’s core values – “Teamwork, Openness and (especially) Passion”* into practice.

It was then that Ludwig made a major mistake (though not a surprising one in the light of his tremendous belief in his own attractions, and his lack of interest in the thoughts and feelings of others.) Misinterpreting her silence as acquiescence he attempted to embrace her, upon which she applied the knowledge she had acquired in her self-defence classes and gave him a swift poke in the eye. She left the room saying that if he ever attempted anything remotely like that again, she would report him for sexual harassment.* It is clear that this incident is not going to help the already strained relations between Ludwig and Karl.

Explanations and comments

*let off steam: Not literally, unlike the Iridons of Yrke, who must open their ventilation ducts three times per Iri-day to survive.

*24/7: A fashionable way to say “round the clock” or “non-stop.” Technically-minded Earthlings prefer figures to words as, for some reason we cannot identify, they believe they carry more authority

*gossip: Commonly this is the sharing of supposedly confidential (and unconfirmed) information with people you trust not to pass it on. This being Earth, the fact that it is supposed to be confidential will ensure that it is spread all the quicker.

* until they were blue in the face. Not literally. Humans remain DS or PPG (see Key Phrases and Abbreviations) in nearly all situations.

*passion: Karl’s emphasis on the last of the three core values indicated that his interpretation of the word was not that intended by GLOB executive management.

* sexual harassment: When a member of one sex (usually male) gives a member of the other sex (usually female) a hard time at work for being of a different gender. Inter-gender relationships are not fully understood at present (not by us Observers and certainly not by Earthlings themselves) and we can only say that it seems to be an area fraught with difficulties.

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