The
Background
The Guide to
Doing Business with Earthlings will be released in fifty-two weekly
instalments during the year, the last episode to be posted on
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “There’s no such thing as a free
lunch,” but I’m delighted to say that in this case it’s wrong. But why this
unprecedented act of generosity on my part? Why should anyone spend months of
their spare time writing a book and not ask for any money from its readers?
The answer, inexplicable though it might sound, is that I found it
impossible to interest a single publisher in the idea of a book which dealt with
business as seen through the eyes of aliens disguised as head lice! Although
obviously a sure-fire winner to anyone with half a brain, the concept
nevertheless failed to interest the literary agents and publishers I contacted.
So rather than leave the manuscript buried on my C drive I decided to
re-package The
Guide into serial form, publish electronically and be dammed.
During the course of this year I hope some far-sighted and
business-minded publisher may decide to make me an offer I can’t refuse and
bring out the book in paper form. If one doesn’t appear, at least I’ll know my
work has reached the public and I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing, like
Frankie baby, that I did it my way.
And that includes the decision to have illustrations. It was suggested
to me early on that this book needed pictures, and Hanna Melin’s name cropped
up. I took one look at her oddball drawings and decided that this woman looked
at the world through the eyes of a true Offydian. Instead of investing in a new
bathroom I spent some money on commissioning sketches from Hanna, and another
talented artist (and good friend) Christel Copp came up with some brilliant
ideas for publicity materials. I also decided that if I wanted to retain my
sanity I needed professional help to set up a website. Thank you Peter! (People who say how easy it is to do it
yourself are lying through their teeth.)
My plan is to upload a new episode every week in 2008, but I have to
warn you that the site will show only two instalments at a time. I can
understand it if you find this irritating and would prefer to be able to
re-read earlier chapters at will, but as I hope that the book in its entirety
will eventually appear in print, I’d like to be sure that people don’t already
have the entire manuscript in their hot little hands.
***
Most of us have first-hand experience of the business world one way or
another. Even if you’ve never had a full-time job you probably still have some
experience of working in organisations - perhaps a weekend job at MacDonald’s
or a summer job cleaning offices. You don’t need to labour in the workplace
forty hours a week to learn about how organisations work in practice. Spend a
day in an office or factory anywhere and the talk is pretty much the same – the
office politics, the gossip, the bitching about budget requirements or the
speculations about the latest re-organisation. This is the human face of
business.
However there’s another side too – the one that we read about in the
business supplements, where writers deal with such elevated issues as
take-overs, new strategies, the effects of globalisation and theories of
change. These issues are discussed in serious academic, critical terms which
bore the pants off the vast majority of people – even the ones who work in these
very areas. Yet these issues affect us all, directly or indirectly, and the
more we can learn about them the more equipped we are to ask questions of the
guys at the top whose decisions shape our working lives.
They on the other hand need to learn about how workplaces actually
function, because the success of their theories and strategies depends on
getting the great mass of ordinary employees (who may well put a higher
priority to getting a permanent parking space by the office entrance than increasing
market share in eastern
There’s no reason why we can’t be interested in the human as well as the
theoretical aspect of business - nor why both aspects can’t be touched on in
the same book. What I want to do is look at where they interact, and what
better way to do this than by bringing in Observers without any prejudices or
preconceived ideas, from a galaxy far far away.
I’d love it if in the course of the year you would let me know what you
think about the issues which are raised and the characters you meet, as well as
any observations about your own place of work. Send them to Readers’ Comments.
I do hope you enjoy The Guide to Doing Business with Earthlings. I
also hope that as you read this book you demonstrate to any alien Observers who
happen to be lurking in your vicinity that it’s possible for Earthlings to
laugh and think at the same time.
OG
***